I'm addicted to blogging for the time being . no more emo post i hope . =] i'm much better after going to IMM with mom and sis just now . although when i got up onto the car and said a sentence , she rejected and she gave bad comments on it. i almost cried in the car. lucky i was in the backseat or my teary eyes would be seen . but i managed to wipe it away . i kept them all to myself . i can't tell them . i wont want them worrying. anyways ! just to think of it , i've thought through and by thinking of the upcoming holidays , i managed to flash a tiny weeny smile out just for a few seconds. thats already achievements . hahahs ! i wondered to myself after hearing a song listening very carefully to the lyrics when i was crying . and i heared this : if there is nothing , missing in my life , then why do these tears come at night ? and more crying came then it stopped. and i asked myself once again , WHY ? I SHOULDN'T BE CRYING. my life is well enough . i am born healthy . i am born happy. i was ONCE happy in the PAST. why do i think of the negative points ? THINK POSITIVE ! i didn't know all these. it just came to me . and i cry again , not because i was sad , because i was happy and glad that i found ME . i found the OLD ME that i USED to be . the old Chanelle . but agains , i'm still worried about the not knowing what i am feeling thingie . BUT , i'll just let nature take its course . i'll just leave these feelings alone although its kinda uncomfortable . i am done and over with this. its just so tiring. it worns me out for the crying alone , being alone , facing this alone , keeping this to myself alone , being sad alone , acting happy alone , acting totally normal alone ! it tires me out. just leave it . i am confident i'll recover soon. it'll heal by itself agains rite ? (i hope) . hahahs. STOP THE CRIES . I WONT CRY ANYMORE. (just pray for the tears to stop. ) hahahs. no more raining faces !~
♥ 3:05 AM