people, please kindly ignore this post. i just need to poor my feelings and thoughts out thats all. it ain't inmportant. thanks .
i thought that i was not simple minded and have thought myself as a complicated person . but now , i realised that i am just too naive . people say that my looks and the way i behave is just too matured. but the fact is that deep down inside , i am NOT. i am a childish freak . a KID. its just the appeareances that is matured that all. i am just a shell that has not grown up fully . i just can't believe that just a sentence from her could make me realised so . and from threr , in the past i naively think that it is just something that xx xxxxx xx xxxx xx . but i didn't think that xx has another motive about doing so . i just treated it as a joke , just treated it so lightly . i am just so foolish . perhaps i have too high expectations for myself. or i think too highly of myself. how idiotic . i feel like screaming . NOW. and at the same time , crying. can someone lend me his / her 's shoulder ?? i need it so badly. but regardless of how hard i try to explain to you guys , or how hard and long i cry on you guys , you still wont get the reason for why i am acting like a retarded . the reason is simply easy. I AM A RETARDED . CHANELLE IS A RETARDED. AND SHE JUST SIMPLE SUCKS . i feel so uncomfortable in my own body and in my thoughts now . all i know now is that i suck in life and i failed to be a proper human being. i am such a sucker .
i thought that i was not simple minded and have thought myself as a complicated person . but now , i realised that i am just too naive . people say that my looks and the way i behave is just too matured. but the fact is that deep down inside , i am NOT. i am a childish freak . a KID. its just the appeareances that is matured that all. i am just a shell that has not grown up fully . i just can't believe that just a sentence from her could make me realised so . and from threr , in the past i naively think that it is just something that xx xxxxx xx xxxx xx . but i didn't think that xx has another motive about doing so . i just treated it as a joke , just treated it so lightly . i am just so foolish . perhaps i have too high expectations for myself. or i think too highly of myself. how idiotic . i feel like screaming . NOW. and at the same time , crying. can someone lend me his / her 's shoulder ?? i need it so badly. but regardless of how hard i try to explain to you guys , or how hard and long i cry on you guys , you still wont get the reason for why i am acting like a retarded . the reason is simply easy. I AM A RETARDED . CHANELLE IS A RETARDED. AND SHE JUST SIMPLE SUCKS . i feel so uncomfortable in my own body and in my thoughts now . all i know now is that i suck in life and i failed to be a proper human being. i am such a sucker .
♥ 6:06 AM